Here we are. 2015. 2 years after LKW was plucked from this planet. And though it still doesn’t feel real the loss of Lauren has forced me (and a lot of other people) to ask big/hard questions, try to make sense of the inexplicable, and to re-evaluate life. They’re big topics that seem to lead nowhere and everywhere at the same time. Ironically they are the very questions Lauren and her friends used to wax on about late into the wine-fueled night. Though I am no closer today to any sort of resolution than I was right after the accident, I use her spirit as a guide and source of inspiration to push upwards and onwards.
Though we’ve had varying degrees of contact, social media has offered us a glimpse into each other’s lives. (However false that sense of reality is.) Thus I am sure you know, Lizzie and I have a little clone named Millie. She is a fascinating little human. She is very enthusiastic about bubbles, rocks, Elmo and airplanes. Even though she wakes me everyday (weekends and holidays included) at 6:15am, she does so with smiles and laughter. It’s pretty much the best wake up alarm ever. She, along with my nieces Mia and Vivienne are the torchbearers of the new Winkler generation. I am beyond sad to know that Millie will never get to meet, get advice or laugh with her Aunt Lauren. And while Mia and Viv are lucky enough to have their own memories of Lauren, they too will fade – as all the memories of sub 5 year old humans do — only to be replaced with their own constructed memories based on stories and photos. My goal is to enrich their knowledge, nay access, to their very special aunt.
Inspired by a story told by Kate Tellers on The Moth Radio Hour, (listen to it here[1]), I bring you the community of Lauren Winkler, The Phoenix Project. The purpose is several fold. First and foremost to allow the next GenWink to get to know Lauren through stories about Lauren, told by her family and friends. The second is, rather than the effigy of Lauren’s Facebook page, the hope it becomes a place where we can remember -as a community- Lauren’s strength, acceptance, humor and love. Lastly its an experiment. I have no clue what this will turn into. I believe it can be powerful. I hope it can be a source of inspiration. I want it to flower into something bigger than the sum of its parts. All I know is that there is a hole in my spirit. And I haven’t been able to confront it or approach the finality of the situation but I know that she will be a driving force in my life until I take my last breath.
Here’s the ask: I want everyone to record a memory you shared with Lauren.
We all have our Lauren stories. Some are from the Negev, some are from Africa, some are from Tustin. They can be inspirational, mundane, big or small. They are all unique, especially from your perspective. Together they will help paint the portrait of her short yet inspiring life. By chronicling our stories on one site, we will really be able to capture her spirit.
Thanks to technology, it will be easy. You’ve heard of a podcast, this will be similar. A memory-cast, another way for Lauren to shine on, Project Phoenix. For those who are up for the technical challenge (it will be easy), please record your story via skype or your iphone and email to me: [email protected]. One note: please try and control the tears. I know this is a difficult exercise, but I don’t want this to be fueled by sadness and despair. It’s a place for celebration and love. So grab a glass of wine and dig in.
Namaste,
Joshua
[1] It is not mentioned on the site, but on the podcast the host talked about how special it will be for Kate’s new daughter to hear about her grandmother using the story. That was the genesis for The Phoenix. It’s for posterity.
